mmm tabooli.
so. today i was at work and i was scheduled to lead a party...(for those who dont know, i wokr at Build-A-Bear Workshop) and that was alright... and then my manager said it was for a group of kids with Cerebral Pulse. and that wasnt a problem or anything, i was fine leading that party... i just wasnt too familliar with the disorder and what it does.
well, they got there.
Lindsey was the first to get there. she's 7. her mother rolled her into the store. she was so tiny, and just looked like one wrong touch and she could be broken, she was so brittle. she had a shakey tendency and obviously didnt have complete muscle control, it was a very pathetic sight... not to say anything of offense, but thats what it was... and as soon as i said hello, her smile grew from ear to ear and she was so excited to be there.
i asked her name, and she answered me, with some struggle but she was definate in her answer and told me right away that she was ready to have a good time.
so, having met the first child, i was somewhat prepared and thought i knew what to expect. over the next 30 minutes, 8 more kids arrived, all differing in severity of the CP. Sean, 6, was able to walk, but had nearly no speech. Miss Emily, who was 7, was completely confined without any speech, and had what might has well have been a perminately dropped jaw. but the look in her eye and the twitch in her mouth everytime something happened that made her happy was so expressive and it didnt even matter she couldnt communicate vocaly. her mother always knew exactly what she liked and didnt like and knew what she wanted to say... and after only spending 15 minutes with her, i felt like i did too.
Dillan was 7 and i heard that he had something else on top of the CP that he lived with. but he was i firecracker. he had trouble keeping his head up, but every so often he would shoot up and give you a look of "um... you're an idiot" if you dumbed you speech down to communicate with him.
that what all the parents were saying, they were physically disabled, but for the most part, they all had the mind of a normal kid. i think thats what was so heart breakin for me. my little brothers are 4 and 8. and i know the kind of things they think and how they respond to things, and how just sometimes they just dont get it.... and i cant help but think if these CP kids ever wonder why they cant do the same things other kids do.
sure, they were still kids, so you wouldnt address them like scholars (except maybe Dillan, he was pretty sarcastic), but youre by no means supposed to down talk them apparently, because, depending on how they were raised, they'll pick up on it and will be insulted.
i dont know... just playing with those kids today made me feel so many things at once. it was great helping them pick out outfits and seeing that they loved being there so much, even if most of them couldnt say so.
time came and all the parents wanted to take a picture on their cameras of the kids and their new bears, and i stepped up from helping Haley with her bear to get out of the way, and i was stopped by the parents and Lindsey and Haley... and they wanted me to be in the picture... and i just about melted. "um. what do you think you're doing?" they said to me. "we want you in the picture. the kids love you guys"
and when the time came for the kids to leave, Sean, the only one who could walk came up and gave me a hug goody bye. and Lindsey, the one with probably the most will and control, said to me "get down here!" and gave me a hug too. she said she was looking forward to coming back to get a new outfit for her Brown Sugar Puppy.
it was quite a day. i feel low, and high, and everything in between. it was only an hour and a half out of my life and it shook me so much.
anyway.... there's me. i'll see you all whenever i do. | 
